Dear Anh,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in women's clothing and I saw you sit on the crazy monkey. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Go burn,
RogerTa
http://amuris.deviantart.com/journal/20567546/ to the How to do the letter.